How to Talk to Your Kids About Immigration: A Values-Based Conversation for Families
— By Dariusz Szajnert MSW, LCSWA
Immigration is a deeply human experience—one that touches many families directly, and others indirectly through friendships, school communities, or media exposure. It’s not uncommon for children to ask big questions about it, like:
🗣 “Why do some people have to leave?”
🗣 “What does deportation mean?”
🗣 “Why can’t everyone just stay?”
🗣 “Why do people want to come to the United States?”
🗣 “Why would someone leave their home country if it’s where their family is?”
These questions are often prompted by news stories, overheard conversations, or personal relationships—and they can stir up confusion, fear, or empathy in your child.
As a parent, you don’t have to know all the answers. What matters most is offering a safe, calm, and values-centered space to explore these conversations. Whether your child is hearing about immigration in the news or wondering why a friend’s family is worried, this is a meaningful opportunity to talk about empathy, fairness, and belonging—without turning the conversation political.
Start with Stories, Not Policies
Children relate to people, not policies. Instead of diving into legal explanations, begin with stories that humanize the immigration experience. This might be your own family’s migration journey, or a fictional character in a book or movie.
📚 Try reading or watching together:
Ask questions like:
“What would it feel like to move somewhere new?”
“What would you bring with you?”
“What would be scary? What might be exciting?”
When Kids Ask About Deportation
If your child has heard about deportation and is worried or confused, keep your response grounded in empathy and simplicity.
You might say:
“Sometimes, people move to a new country for safety, work, or to take care of their families—but the laws about who can stay are complicated. When someone doesn’t have the right papers or permission, the government might ask them to leave. That’s called deportation.”
Then follow up with a values-based reassurance:
“Even if we don’t always understand the rules, we believe that every person deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.”
If your child is worried about someone they know:
“Thank you for caring so much about your friend. That shows what a kind and thoughtful person you are. The best thing we can do is be a good friend and make sure they feel safe when they’re with us.”
Anchor the Conversation in Your Family’s Values
Immigration can feel complex, but the values you want to pass on are likely simple and clear. Use this opportunity to talk about what matters most in your family:
- Kindness: We treat people with compassion, even when we don’t know their whole story.
- Fairness: We believe everyone should have a chance to be safe and supported.
- Belonging: We try to help people feel welcome wherever we are.
By focusing on shared values rather than political sides, you help your child build a sense of identity and moral compass rooted in empathy and respect.
Encourage Empathy Through Curiosity
Instead of correcting your child if they repeat something worrisome or confusing, get curious:
“What made you think about that?”
“How do you think someone in that situation might feel?”
This not only builds emotional intelligence, but models how to listen first and respond with care—a lifelong skill.
Explore Global Perspectives and Traditions
Even if your child doesn’t ask about immigration directly, you can help them appreciate the richness of global traditions and everyday experiences from other communities:
- Try foods from different countries
- Attend local events that feature music, stories, or dance from other parts of the world
- Learn basic greetings in another language together
- Talk about how people from around the world contribute to your town or school
The more your child becomes curious and appreciative of others’ experiences, the more they develop openness, empathy, and a strong sense of shared humanity.
Family Resources to Learn MoreIf you’d like to continue the conversation with your child, here are some resources created with families and children in mind:
- EmbraceRace: Offers tools and webinars for raising children who are thoughtful and inclusive, including materials on talking about immigration and race.
- Teaching Tolerance / Learning for Justice: Offers family-friendly articles and lesson plans about identity, inclusion, and the immigrant experience.
- Immigration History: An age-appropriate portal of immigration history and a list of books helpful for elementary and middle school ages (under resources).
- PBS Kids: Explore topics like belonging and empathy through shows like Molly of Denali and Arthur. Videos and talking points based on the Arthur series, can help young children understand themes of empathy and movement.
- Sesame Workshop: Displacement and Resettlement: Supportive content for very young children and caregivers.
Final Thoughts
When children ask about immigration or deportation, they aren’t always seeking detailed explanations—they’re looking for reassurance, truth, and a sense of where your family stands. These moments are an invitation to talk about what it means to be human: to move, to change, to hope, and to care for one another.
Whether your family has deep immigrant roots or is just learning about this topic for the first time, talking about immigration through the lens of values and empathy can help raise emotionally intelligent, compassionate kids—who will grow up seeing everyone’s story as worth listening to.
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